Boosh here.
The Town proves that Ben Affleck becomes mild-saucely retarded without his smarter butt-buddy Matt Damon. While the film develops some sad and serious themes and has goodish acting, there are some serious moldy-ass plot holes. You can tell Afflack thought Pearl Harbor was a good movie.
Retarded Shit #1
Somehow, these so-called experienced bank robbers shart their pants during the first robbery—when someone knocks on the door. How the fuck do you rob a bank in broad daylight and expect an awkwardly parked van to stop people from going to the bank? They continue sharting as they take that ho’ hostage, not needing her at all except to give Affleck another sex scene. The robbers then wait a couple hours AFTER kidnapping her to tell each other that they’ve fucked themselves in their own buttholes—really really hard.
Retarded Shit #2
What’s the best thing to do after nearly getting caught robbing a bank? Rob another fucking bank. These dipshits seriously rob a new place every fucking week. Afflack has only robbed 8 places before in his life, and he seems to have been doing this for a while, so how the fuck do they get on this Monday night bank robbing schedule?
Retarded Shit #3
Some Afflack ball-garglers might say that these robbers only robbed because they were forced to—by the old man Fergie. No.
This foreskin faced old man is the “godfather” figure in this movie. The guy who has a huge posse and is always protected. Except here he dies by squeezing his dick too hard. Afflack clearly wants to kill him the whole time, but he waits until all his friends die to smang his ass. Afflack most likely wrote the script this way so he could jerk off to being the sole survivor every time he watches his own movie.
Retarded Shit #4
The Boston accent needs fucking subtitles. The actors don’t even know what they were saying half the time, probably because all the scripts were covered in Afflack’s lonely sperm.
Poop or Chocolate Ice Cream?
Poop. No halfway ratings here. Overrated. An “eh” movie. It’s hard to take all the shit seriously, when you know so much of it could have been avoided by not being fucking stupid. If someone else had written the script this could have been really good. But it’s not. Great actors, stupid script.
